Episode #159: “Finger Lickin’ Good” | Near Dark (1987)

Take the cast of ALIENS and put them in Oklahoma… and make them vampires. Then you’ve got Kathryn Bigelow’s feature film directing debut: NEAR DARK.

(I wonder what Paul Reiser would’ve looked like as a vampire…)

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Episode #158: “Chill the Maggots; Sex the Roaches” | Hellraiser (1987)

It’s the epic love story for the ages: Girl meets boy. Girl marries boy. Girl is bored with husband and has affair with husband’s brother. Brother-in-law gets bored with the limits of earthly pleasure and pain and gets ripped apart and taken to another dimension. Girl moves into brother-in-law’s old house and ultimately discovers undead skinless brother-in-law in the attic. Girl begins to seduce and murder random men to help restore brother-in-law’s physical body. Eventually demon/angel with pincushion head shows up and raises hell.

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Episode #157: “Party Like It’s 1999” | Prince of Darkness (1987)

You see what I did there? It’s called PRINCE of Darkness and the visions from the future take place in 1999, so it’s like the song “1999 (Party Like It’s 1999)” by Prince. Right? Shut up.

Anyway, apparently Jesus was an alien who started a secret society 2,000 years ago which became the Catholic Church and kept the secret that what we thought was God was really the Anti-god and is evil and his son (the Prince of Darkness) was contained within a canister of ectoplasm for 2,000 years. Now the Canister of Satan is ready to open and literally unleash Hell on earth.

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